Used

Yesterday was a very enlightening day at my house. Well, my “roommate” – since he had decided he didn’t want to be in a relationship with me any longer – decided he was going to break at least 2 of the conditions of him being allowed to stay here. I had told him he could stay here as long as he 1) helped with the bills, 2) did NOT drink, 3) did not stay out all night and 4) no more dating websites or having women flaunted in my face. It was hell having him here, hell on my heart (read “Just Friends”). Wednesday night he told me he was going to get oil. He was upset because his computer was not working again. The dog had knocked it off the chair back in July – and the screen had to be replaced. He swears I broke it – but I didn’t touch his computer! Well, I called the guy who had fixed the computer and then tried to call my “roommate.” He wouldn’t answer his phone. Several hours later, he sent me a text message saying “I’ll bring a cab home.” OK – translated – “I’m drunk, won’t drive, will take a cab home.” But, from past experience, I knew that meant I wouldn’t hear from him again until sometime Thursday. My reply text to him was “If you’re drinking, do NOT bother coming back. You can pick up your belongings on Thursday.” I went to sleep.

Thursday I had a doctor’s appointment in Bogalusa. He called me around 8:45. I told him I had to leave by 9:30 to go to the doctor, to please hurry up and come get his stuff. He showed up around 9:00. I had all his belongings packed and in the hall. He went past them, and went and got in the shower. When he got out, I told him again, he needed to hurry, get his things and leave because I had to leave also. He told me he didn’t know what he was going to do, so he wasn’t leaving yet. I picked up some of his belongings and started to take them to his van. He hit the clothes - and my hand at the same time - and scared the crap out of me.

He told me that he had done SO MUCH for me and this was the thanks he got. Yes, he’s been giving me money on the bills weekly, which includes bills HE helps create AND the insurance on his vehicle. Now keep in mind - between 14 - 17 months of the 3 1/2 years he was out of a job - NO income at all - I was working and paying all his bills, his child support, his van payment (which the loan was in MY name and I had put the $1500 down payment on it - he only recently - December - got the money for the van paid back - didn't ask for the child support or the other bills I paid for him). So I told him that I had done things for him too - one was sitting in the driveway (the van). He said - yeah, my sister and I talked about it - it took you a month to get me a vehicle that is a LONG time, if you had NOT made arrangements for me to get a vehicle, I would have left you then. I couldn't believe it. Yes, I had just received my income tax refund (a week or two before I DID get the van) so I did have the money. But HOW IS IT THAT I OWED IT TO HIM TO PROVIDE HIM WITH A VEHICLE? He didn’t have one when we met. I had let him use one I had, but then the axle broke and he didn’t have a way to work. I was leaving early every day, taking him to work, going on to work myself, when I would get off work, I would go sit for several hours waiting for him to get off. He said, “You were content to drive me to work every day.” WHAT? This was a pleasure for me? Having to leave early, go out of my way, sit for hours waiting for him to get off, then drive home? What’s wrong with this picture?


Then he told me he had contributed a LOT to our relationship, not emotionally, never emotionally, but financially he had contributed a lot. I said so, “You never cared about me?” His answer was a resounding NO! He went on to tell me that he knew he would eventually end up on the street because I was such a cold-hearted bitch. Well yeah - how many women put up with the crap I did for that length of time - I should be committed for what I put up with and then let him continue to stay here!!!!

In shock, I picked the stuff up again - took it to the van and came back to get more stuff. That's when he punched my purse, sending everything flying across the room, breaking a medicine bottle and the meds going all over the place, then he hit the light fixture (thankfully, it didn't break). I picked up the phone and called the cops - stayed on the phone with them while I loaded all his stuff in the van. Then I told him they were on the way - he got his keys, dressed quickly and left. The police filed a report. I told them he didn't MEAN to hit me - though a neighbor came over while they were here and told them he had heard him tell me that I needed to be punched in the head. I missed my doctor’s appointment, because I had to wait on the cops - called and explained what happened and they rescheduled it.

So how stupid do I feel? I loved this man, unconditionally with every thing I had. I put up with things I had never tolerated in the past. I invested all this emotion, love – and hell yeah, MONEY into this relationship to find out – it was one-sided the whole time. And how is it he somehow felt or thought I OWED HIM? So I’m a cold-hearted bitch? Hum….no, more like a fool that loved too much.

OK – now look up the definition of naïve in the dictionary. See that picture of that woman next to it as an illustration? Well, that’s me.